http://HillaryClintonExplainsItAll.com Hillary Clinton Explains It All... en-us 2008 Penguin Dreams http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/63 I am legally changing my name to Hillary Hussein Clinton. Wed Jul 02 21:05:09 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/62 I like black men. I had two last night. It was like a double stuffed Oreo cookie. They gave me a creamy center. Wed Jul 02 06:04:59 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/61 I inhaled. Fri Jun 20 18:53:53 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/60 The Black Captain America voted for me. Tue Jun 17 10:19:52 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/59 There's a little black spot on the sun today, but it's not my soul up there. I don't have one. Fri Jun 13 13:33:56 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/58 I'm suspending my campagin and will resume it after Obama's assassination. Mon Jun 09 10:26:18 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/57 My vagina is not a clown car. Mon Jun 09 10:19:19 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/56 I am announcing today that I intend to run as the first Peronist candidate. Thu Jun 05 06:52:41 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/55 It is my birthright to be on the throne of the American Empire! Wed Jun 04 08:05:57 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/54 It may be too late for me to win, but it's never too late to destroy what's left of my party. Tue Jun 03 21:12:55 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/53 My delegates from Florida and Michigan are worth less than slaves from the 1700s. Mon Jun 02 07:24:01 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/52 I'm not 'The Man,' I'm just his representative. Thu May 29 10:03:42 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/51 Working moms chose great value. Wed May 21 20:31:14 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/50 Republicans are paying me to stay in this race and I won't let them down. Wed May 21 11:47:35 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/49 God, we need to have a little chat about the way this election is going. Tue May 20 07:13:11 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/48 McCain is backing Chuck Norris. Fri May 16 16:32:21 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/47 A homeless man asked me for change. I told him, "Sorry, I don't support terrorism." Tue May 13 15:50:04 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/46 We should start taxing the homeless. Tue May 13 10:40:41 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/45 You have a milkshake and I have a milkshake, but my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Mon May 12 22:24:46 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/44 I promise to re-edit the Bible so every reference to Christ is about Batman instead. Fri May 09 15:36:19 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/43 I wake up and piss excellence in the morning. It smells like victory. Wed May 07 22:34:59 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/42 I piss competence Tue May 06 22:14:11 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/41 I may be white on the outside, but on the inside, I'm as black as Obama! Wed Apr 30 10:25:38 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/40 I fought with Gangus Kaun during the Peloponnesian War. I came under sniper fire when I entered Macedonia. Wed Apr 30 08:43:35 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/39 I believe all women should learn to pee standing up. Wed Apr 30 06:29:32 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/38 I am determined to kill Martin Luther King's dream. Fri Apr 25 10:56:42 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/37 Freedom!!! Thu Apr 24 11:47:52 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/36 I am Hillrod. Hillrod smash! Wed Apr 23 18:40:39 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/35 I am a ball breaking bitch! Tue Apr 22 16:59:51 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/34 Are you there God? It's me, Hillary. Sun Apr 20 21:40:30 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/33 I wouldn't ask my husband for moral advice. Sun Apr 20 18:20:25 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/32 I am the second coming of Christ. Sun Apr 20 13:31:12 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/31 If you play Obama's speeches backwards...you'll fuck up your needle. Fri Apr 18 21:51:51 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/30 The presidency is mine, my precious. Fri Apr 18 11:43:59 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/29 I'm having a heavy flow day. Fri Apr 18 10:33:07 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/28 Chelsie spent time at the Neverland ranch. It shaped her into the woman she is today. Fri Apr 18 07:03:46 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/27 I'm fucking Matt Damon <a href="http://tinyurl.com/2psaty">(Video)</a> Thu Apr 17 16:48:54 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/26 Bill was the one who ordered my execution in Bosnia. Thu Apr 17 08:32:47 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/25 John McCain for Pope! Wed Apr 16 21:51:30 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/24 If I shave them, will you lick them? Wed Apr 16 18:48:01 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/23 Chelsea is the chosen one from the prophecy who will defeat the Sith, restore order to the force and bring peace to the galaxy. Wed Apr 16 06:33:22 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/22 I'm pregnant, and Obama is the father. Tue Apr 15 17:12:40 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/21 John McCain is a cyborg made from stem cells, aborted fetuses and tortured baby democrats. It's true because I read it on the Internet. Tue Apr 15 10:58:17 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/19 Obama doesn't care about white people. Tue Apr 15 08:04:33 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/18 Bill, I think it's about time we started seeing other people. Mon Apr 14 16:47:26 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/17 I am more than just Monica's boyfriend's wife. Mon Apr 14 14:49:43 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/16 My name is Hannah Montana. You killed my father. Prepare to die. Mon Apr 14 10:51:15 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/15 I am Rocky Balboa! Mon Apr 14 08:39:45 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/14 I was wrong. We should have open trade with Columbia. Mon Apr 14 08:09:37 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/13 When the call comes at 3am, I will be ready. Unlike my opponent, you can be assured that I will not be getting laid. Mon Apr 14 05:04:05 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/12 I will propose funding to genetically engineer a miniature elephant. Honestly, who doesn't want a foot tall elephant as a house pet? Sun Apr 13 19:45:34 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/11 I fought beside John Kerry in Vietnam. We woke up to the smell of napalm every morning. Sun Apr 13 16:26:46 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/10 Forget the election, get an erection Sat Apr 12 12:58:53 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/9 Am I for the war? Depends, what's popular right now? Sat Apr 12 12:35:34 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/8 I pried the gun from Charlie's Cold Dead Hands. Sat Apr 12 09:58:30 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/7 I gave up my seat on the bus for Rosa Parks Sat Apr 12 09:56:35 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/6 We will find earth. I promise you that. So say we all. Sat Apr 12 00:59:38 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/5 Every morning I wake up, put one foot on the floor and the other foot up my husband's ass! Fri Apr 11 17:38:25 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/3 I was shot in Bosnia. The damage was so bad, I though I would surely die. But they were able to rebuild me: Better, Faster, Stronger. Fri Apr 11 14:04:03 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/2 I killed a man in Reno just to watch him die. I slit his throat and felt the warm caress of blood flow over my hands. It felt like victory. Fri Apr 11 14:03:54 -0600 2008 http://hillaryclintonexplainsitall.com/confessions/1 I came under fire during the great fast food epidemic. There were cheese burgers and cakes everywhere. Fri Apr 11 14:03:41 -0600 2008